I don't normally write about controversial issues, but I wanted to write just a bit about Mary Winkler. I never watch TV, but I thought about watching Oprah today for the interview with the woman who killed her preacher husband. Then I got sidetracked with the kids at 4PM, so I had to read it online instead. I found the verdict and sentence so disturbing, but I wanted to hear her speak. She grew up just down the road from my grandparents' house in Knoxville, Tennessee. (Literally about 2 miles down the road) She graduated from the same high school that my dad attended. She is close in age with me and is a quiet, shy person... like me. She says that she was an abused wife and something snapped and that she does not remember shooting her husband. I just don't know what to think.
I believe that it's possible that she was abused for years and that things built up because she repressed everything completely. If someone continually represses their pain, especially a shy and quiet person, I think that they have the potential of exploding like a volcano. According to her Oprah interview, and if we believe what she says... her husband got angry at her one year old child for not sleeping and covered the baby's mouth and nose to try and make her "pass out". Maybe this scary abusive thing that he did to her baby was the final straw that caused Mary to explode. I don't know. One problem with everything is that we don't know for sure what really truly happened, because it's all Mary's account of what happened. We can't hear her husband's side of it, because he is dead.
I guess that I really have problems getting this out of my mind because Mary wants custody of her children. This really bothers me. It's all just a terrible horrific situation. I think that the fact that she could blow up and kill someone and not remember doing it would make her a danger to her children. Couldn't she have the potential of getting mad at her child and then exploding and doing something horrible? I do feel sorry for her especially if she was abused, and especially if her children were abused.
It also disturbs me that she didn't try to work things out with her husband. She was quiet and shy and repressed and just let everything build up. Believe me, I know this type of person. I'm a hold it in or bust type person in many ways. Fortunately, I have mini-eruptions and I do get things out of my system when I'm upset. But at one time when I was younger, I held everything in. Being married to my hubby has helped me. He will not let me go to bed mad at him! I'll try to do it, but he just won't let me and will push me till I let the anger out and get it out of my system. Thank God for this! It makes a person very sick to always hold in the anger and pain. It really does, and I think that this must have been what happened to Mary.
Even so, like I said before, we can only hear her side of this. Even if she doesn't remember doing it, she killed her husband. She took her children's father away from them. She took her children's father away from them. She took her children's father away from them! What a horrible thing. It's so sad. My father died in an accident when I was a kid. This was painful, but I can't imagine the pain of what her children have to go through with their daddy dying by their mother's hands. No, I don't think it's safe for her to have sole custody of her children, but I won't be surprised if she gets it. It scares me. And imagine what her in-laws are going through.
I'll stop after this paragraph, I promise. I just want to say one more thing. It really is too bad that there was a loaded gun in that house. What was a loaded gun doing within reach of children anyway? I sure hope that her children will be OK. The poor little things. I am interested in viewpoints of my blogger friends. I thought that you might like to hear mine since I am a quiet, shy person who knows a little bit about volcanic eruptions. What do you think about this whole situation?
3 comments:
I would think that she should only have custody of her kids if a) she goes through a period of supervised visitations that eventually leads to part time custody b) she has to attend therapy c) the kids have to attend therapy.
While it may be true that she killed her husband, it is also true that she is their mother. If the children saw the abuse that she withstood and also may have been abused themselves, they may look out for each other. If her husband did do what she said, who could blame her for wanting to off him?
I can see why you would feel the way that you do and I think the courts should be very cautious when placing the kids with their mother.
Linda, thanks for your thoughts on this. The more I think about it, the more convinced I feel that she was probably abused and telling the truth about that. I think that she took it and took it and held in all that anger and pain. It really sounds like his abuse of the baby was what pushed her over the edge. She wasn't going to let him hurt the baby. The jury felt that she was telling the truth.
It's extremely sad. It hit close to home for me because she is from my family's home town and is about my age and that her personality is a lot like mine...shy and quiet and holds things in.
It does bother me that her husband is dead and can't speak up for himself. That's where I start getting mixed up about how I feel. I hope that the kids will be OK, and that the courts will be careful with their decisions.
This happened in Selmer which is not far from where I used to live. Several people who know them said that it was unexpected, and others said that it didn't suprise them (the abuse that is). I can also understand the desire to protect your children. However, I also believe that this was not the first time that he did something to the kids. She could and should have gotten away from him sooner. But a large part of living in southern middle/west TN is keeping up appearances. She was probably under a lot of social pressure to be the happy preacher's wife. I don't know. It is a tough situation. I agree with Linda. The court should be careful, but I can't honestly offer a good solution. Thank you for the post. It has made me think.
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