Ups and Downs

I've been busy with fb and other things, so I haven't written here for a while. (sorry) I've felt just a little unmotivated and droopy lately, but I think that the Winter weather has had a lot to do with that. Today was beautiful and our first Spring-like day in ages, but I had to work today which kind of stunk and put me in a sour mood. I'm thankful to have a job, but I had a little Spring fever today and needed to get out and soak in some sunshine. Well, I have to be happy that Spring is almost here and that's my favorite of all seasons. My daughter's 5th birthday is coming up this week and I also register her for kindergarten. :-) I also took off from work on her birthday. Woo-hoo!

Please remind me that no matter how good it smells and how good it tastes, I really should never ever drink coffee in the evening. I love it, but look at me. I'm up at 12:42 AM, and I'm still not even a little bit sleepy! Ah, me.

I SHOP ALONE!

That's my new motto. The few times that I have taken the kids into a store lately, they have behaved so badly that I resolve to avoid taking them shopping with me again. I work several evenings during the week, so I've started doing grocery shopping after work when I'm alone. Whew, it's SO MUCH easier to do it that way. I love my kids, but I DO NOT like shopping with them.

I think that when the kids were younger and cried in the store, people would smile and say "Aw...poor little baby". The attitude changes drastically when you have a screaming 4 year old or 3 year old. I get lots of evil looks, and it's just not worth it. I've had my 4 year old throw herself down on the floor in a temper tantrum and people come running to stare. It's so weird. I don't know why my kids are so bad in the store. I'm usually pretty patient with the kids, but the store situation is too out of control for me... so they won't get that privilege with me any more. I SHOP ALONE!

Sometimes They Get Along!

I was so happy two days ago when I observed my kids playing a computer game together. MG was patiently teaching MB how to play the "Land Before Time" dinosaur game. They did this for about an hour. They've been bickering quite a bit lately, so it this was a nice break from that.

I think that it's been difficult because the cold weather is keeping us inside more. Sometimes I wonder if we should move somewhere warmer. I really don't like the cold. I do have more problems with depression in the Winter months. Maybe when the kids are a little older, we can learn how to snow shoe or something. I don't think that I want to learn to ski at this point, but snow shoeing sounds fun and like something we could do.

Another thing that's made it harder to find things to do is the money situation. We have to choose free things to do. The library programs are about the only free event that we can do around here. Maybe there's something else that I'm not thinking of.

We've got a few personal issues going on too. Crap at work. Also a close family member is having increased health problems... cancer. :0( It's a good thing that I started this post with the positive. We really did have a good Christmas, and I am grateful for my beautiful children.

Holiday Greetings!

This is the picture that I've put in all my Christmas cards this year. My two sweethearts..

Joyful Kitty

This is our cat Jasper. He brings us lots of joy. His favorite person is MG. Can you tell?If she's upset or crying, he comes running to her to snuggle and make her feel better. Yesterday, he decided to climb the fake Christmas tree. :-)

An Elf and a Reindeer

Here are my two kids getting into the Christmas spirit. :-)

Happier Christmases

A few years ago when I was visiting my family down South, I found this awful picture of my mom at Christmastime just three months after my dad died in an accident. It made me cry to see the picture because I could see the raw pain on my mom's face. She looked so lost. I never want to see that picture again.

Christmases have been a difficult time for my mom. Those were the most difficult and depressing times for her. She would go to some dark place. This affected me and I have always felt sad at Christmastime too. The magic died with my dad... that is until I had my own children to celebrate Christmas with.

Now I feel some of that magic that I felt as a young child. It's fun to see the kids so excited about Christmas. I have one of those prelit trees except one of the cats bit through a wire, so the lights no longer work. I had three strands of red lights, so I put those on and they look even prettier than the originals.

At MG's preschool, she's been learning about the birth of Jesus. They made these little clothespin dolls that they put in little mangers. MB wanted his own baby Jesus, too, so I helped him make one. MG has been going to a Christian preschool this year, so she has been learning alot of bible stories. She is so happy there.

Even though I do have happier Christmases now, there's still a struggle to fall into the old feelings. I tend to feel sad for no reason in the winter. I really truly need to actively do things to combat this. And that doesn't mean eat more! That's how I tend to deal with depression in the Winter, but I know what I really need to do. Exercise, write and do crafts. Those things make me feel better, so that's what I need to do.