Dressing Up for Halloween?

It was always so much fun as a kid. I remember wearing those cheesy old plastic masks and costumes from the 70s and 80s. Trick or treating was so much fun. Nowdays I usually don't dress up, because it's fun enough dressing the kids up. MG is going to be Snow White and MB will be Elmo. I let them choose their costumes this year. They both dressed up for the party at MG's preschool today. I wasn't going to put MB in his costume, but he started yelling "E-mo! E-mo!" when he saw his sister all dressed up. They were cute! Metal Mark is planning on dressing up. :) I might.... especially since it was difficult for me to actually be off from work for Halloween. Hmmm...what shall I be? Hillbilly, Scarecrow, Witch?

Happy Halloween Thoughts

I'm feeling better and more positive today for several reasons. I may get to go trick-or-treating after all after switching my job hours to actually work all day, but be off for Halloween night. Hurrah! Then today, I'm going to visit my co-worker who is on medical leave and take her flowers. I'll have a little free time to myself when I do that. It's a beautiful sunshiny day outside. Mark and I had Mommy and Daddy time last night. We even got to play the Wii Nintendo game that he borrowed from work... he has to learn how to play it for job related reasons. :) Finally, I am going to see my doctor tomorrow about my depression problems... even though I may not actually be depressed tomorrow. The blues come and go.

I've also been thinking about how to smooth things over with my brother and his wife. I am going to send a thank you note with pictures that we took. I've just been thinking about how my brother and I were just like MB and MG when we were little...we're very close in age. I have all kinds of pictures of he and I together and lots of good memories of playing together when we were kids. We kind of got less close over the years, and I'm actually closer with my youngest brother for some reason.

I Yelled at the Burger King Girl

I'm getting tired of taking other people's crap. I've always done it because I really don't like arguing or yelling or anything like that. Well, yesterday the Burger King girl was rude to me basically because she couldn't hear me at the drive through window. (Not my fault) I yelled at her, something I never do. She was being bitchy, so I was that way in return. It's pretty sad that the only person that I can stand up to is the poor Burger King girl.

I've been upset with my brother and sister-in-law. Then I came home to be attacked about my lousy parenting because I don't have the kids in church. Now I'm having trouble at work. I know that I've discussed this before, too. More than a month ago, I put in to take off for Halloween. My supervisor acted strange and did not want me to take off for my vacation South and he did not want me to take off for Halloween either. Nevertheless, he found someone to sub for me for Halloween. Now he is basically telling me that I can't be off after all because of another issue with a co-worker's medical leave. I understand about that, but he's not asking me, he's telling me. I tried to explain to my daughter, but she doesn't understand. I never take off extra on holidays.

I know that Halloween isn't the most important holiday and that it's not the end of the world if I miss it, but I'm upset with my supervisor's attitude towards me. Everything changed once I had kids and I quit working extra hours for free and when my schedule became fixed. My job used to be my number one priority, but now it's not. My kids come first. I have to have my job in order to have enough money to raise our kids. Maybe my performance at my job has gone downhill. I could probably do better. I feel burnt out. I've been in the same job for almost 9 years. Could that be the problem?

I'm really depressed.
Update: I just set up that doctor's appointment that I've been putting off. It'll be on Monday morning when MM is watching the kids. I sure hope that this will help me. That's the earliest appointment that I could get. I know that I have to do something about this depression.

Not Excited About Church

This is my new issue to deal with. We have had a very well-meaning relative nagging us because the kids are not in church. I'm actually pretty livid about this right now for many reasons. The person who nags us has no clue to how difficult it is to get two toddlers ready and there on time that early in the morning. They also do not know what it's like for both parents to work and have alternating schedules and to feel like going to church to sit and listen to a self righteous wind bag go on and on about things that they really don't really know about after all. OK, I'm really mad and sorry that this is so negative. Sigh. I do want to go to church, but not with hypocrites or with prejudiced people who look down on others. In my past, I've seen so much of this especially at church. Maybe this isn't for the right reasons, but I'd only be going to church to let my kids experience being around other kids. Also, Mark and I could stand to make a few friends. I believe in God and Jesus and I do try to teach my kids about this. I think that my in-laws believe that we aren't telling the kids anything and are raising them to be heathens. I'm sorry, but church will not get you to heaven. Maybe I'll find a church that doesn't turn me off & then maybe I'll feel differently. Actually, we are going to try the closest one to our house... maybe next Sunday. The minster is a woman, so I am excited that perhaps this will make the whole experience better for me. You see, I grew up in the Southern Baptist church which pretty much looks down on women altogether. Very bad, negative experiences. So, I definitely need a different type of church than the one I grew up in. I can't live with myself if I go to church just to be going to church or to be appeasing the well-meaning relatives. I really have to go somewhere where I believe what I'm hearing & the people have to be genuinely kind, caring people... not a bunch of phony self-righteous people.

Please, I really would like to hear any advice or thoughts on this. Sorry about my rant. It's just that we had some rough moments on our vacation & then we're being attacked about the church issue. It makes me sad and stressed.

95% Wonderful

There were so many wonderful things about our trip, so I am going to think about those things. Even though the situation at my brother's house upset me, it's sad that I'm dwelling on that when the good things outweigh anything bad. :) It wasn't ALL bad at my brother's house, either. I'm going to write about the good parts, so that I can just let the other things go and forget about it. After all, it was only about 5% bad!

One of the best things was that our kids were so very good on the long drive down to Kentucky! We left on Sunday morning at 6AM. The kids watched the portable DVD player, looked at books, slept, had snacks and we made several stops for potty breaks and food. They did great and did not get too fussy! They were great on the drive back home, too. We were very lucky.

When we were driving through the beautiful mountains of West Virginia, we went through an area that overlooked a huge valley. I saw sky divers parachuting! It was just beautiful. Unfortunately, my camera was not within reach. On our way back home as we drove through the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia, I took pictures of the Blue Ridge Mountains. The leaves had started changing to pretty oranges, reds and yellows. MG enjoyed seeing the mountains .

Spills

Earlier today I posted about the good & bad things about our vacation. The most difficult part was the situation at my brother' s house where they both were afraid that we were going to get a speck of dirt on their carpet or something like that. Mark and I were talking about the differences in reactions to spills. As most of you know, kids spill things. It happens quite often. Actually, most adults spill things too. Anyway, we had spills happen at three different relatives' homes and it is so funny to compare the very different reactions to the spills. It's also very revealing of the differing personalities. :)

FIRST SPILL
The first spill happened at Mark's brother's house. MG turned over a glass of water in the kitchen that went all over the floor and under the kiddy table. My extremely easy going sister-in-law aka mother of three boys said "Oh, don't worry about it... we'll just clean it up later." She insisted that we leave it there, and we all went into the living room to watch the kids and just left the mess for later!

SECOND SPILL
The second spill happened at my brother Andy's house. MG was putting her little bottle of orange drink on the table when she slipped with it in her hand and is spilled onto the kitchen floor. My brother said not to worry and he grabbed a dry paper towel and began cleaning it up. I suggested that he use water so that the floor wouldn't get sticky, so he then wet the paper towel and wiped up the mess. Then my sister-in-law with the corn cob stuck up her butt walked into the room. She became very stressed and was upset that we were using water instead of a special cleanser. She said "We can't let it get under the rug!", so my brother had to pull back the rug even though the spill had not gone near it. After that, we were fussed at about cleaning our feet, dropping food on the kitchen floor, etc. We were walking on egg shells.

THIRD SPILL
This one is my favorite. We were visiting my youngest brother Jason when MG (poor MG...it's always her) bumped some one's soda which spilled down under the couch and under the end table. My brother and sister-in-law laughed as my brother got down on his hands and knees to wipe it up with a dry cloth towel. He then peered under the couch and said "Hey! So that's where those books went!" The spill turned into a good thing because my brother began pulling out items that had fallen down behind the couch that he thought were lost. They were laughing about it the whole time. Funny, funny, funny!

******All these reactions perfectly illustrate the atmosphere in each home. So, what would your reaction be if a kid spilled a drink on your floor? Personally, I would reassure the child that it was OK. Next, I would happily clean it up. Then it would be forgotten. If it leaves a stain, I simply use the steam cleaner and stain remover when I get a chance. No big deal! :)

THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY

We're back from our vacation South where we visited family in both Kentucky and Tennessee. It was a very emotional, tiring, wonderful trip for me. It was mostly GOOD. There were a few BAD things. As for UGLY, I'll write about the strange things for this category. I really need to write about these experiences. :)

THE GOOD

• The kids got to play with other children. They loved seeing their cousins in Kentucky. They also got to play with my friends' kids who are close in age. It was a treat to see my daughter playing dolls and watching TV with my best friend's little girl.
• We loved seeing the kids' joy when they played with the puppies for the first time at my youngest brother's house.
• It was such fun to see MG interact with the baby of my family...her 6 month old cousin. She taught him how to stick out his tongue. I will post pictures of this soon. :)
• The Fall leaves were just beautiful driving through Virginia in the Shenandoah Valley.
• I got to have a very special conversation with my best friend's mother who was like a mother to me when I was a kid going through hard times.
• I also had a very deep and helpful conversation with my sister-in-law in KY. She is a very spiritual person.
• The kids were so very good while we drove. We did not have to stay in a hotel because the kids slept at the perfect times. :)
• My Mom was very happy and had a wonderful time. She was not so devastated when we left and was in such good spirits when I talked to her on the phone when we got back to Maryland.

THE BAD

• We stayed with my sister-in-law and brother in TN. They had invited us to stay there which I appreciate, but I had no idea that she was so particular and unused to young children. It was so bad the first night because she almost had a hernia when MG spilled a little juice on her kitchen floor. Then my brother fussed at us about EVERYTHING that the kids were doing. It was almost unbearable and I spent most of that night crying. We were so exhausted, the kids were a little wild from having pent up energy and my brother and sister-in-law did not know how to handle it. I didn't think that we would get to stay there. During that first night, I made up my mind that we would stay, but try to do lots during the day to keep out of their hair. There was some rudeness on my brother and sister-in-law's part, but I think that they were so overwhelmed and had absolutely no realistic clue to how children behave. I was pushed to the point of speaking my mind once, but I did OK with that. Whew, I also bit my tongue once to not say something rude. It turned out fine, but we were very glad to be leaving there. I'm sure that my sister-in-law fumigated the place after we got out of there. I can't wait to see what happens in a few years when her little baby is a rowdy toddler....hee hee hee.
• We had to drive through a storm in the dark when we were almost home. That was a bit scary.

THE UGLY

Well, I can only think of the strange bizarre thing for this category. When we were driving down to KY, we stopped at a restaurant for breakfast at McDonald's. I took MB into the bathroom to change his diaper. There was no changing table thing, so I assumed that it was in the occupied handicapped restroom. I waited and waited and waited, but the person would not come out. Eventually, an elderly employee walked in and began talking to this person in the stall. I asked about the changing table & she said that yes, it was in the occupied stall. Finally a woman who looked to be about 60 came out. She was an employee as well. She stood in front of the mirror and looked at herself and began talking to me. She acted strange and talked in a whispery voice and said this: "I am so sweaty that I couldn't get my panties up." Her face was very red. Then she kind of put her hand to her throat and said that it felt like a rope was constricting it. I didn't know what to say and hurried into the stall with MB. Low and behold, there was no changing table in there after all !!! We ended up changing him in the car. Meanwhile, I saw the strange lady come out of the bathroom and go right back to work.

Self Image

Our vacation South is coming up very soon. I'm embarrassed that I weigh more than I did the last time my family saw me, & I was pregnant at that time! I'm wondering if there's anything that I can do to improve my image before we leave. Maybe a haircut? I have let my hair grow long and all one length. I ALWAYS wear it up with clips now. Maybe a long-layered update might help, I don't know. Sigh. I need to do something to help me feel better about how I look before I see everybody. Losing 50 pounds in 2 days is not an option. I guess it's likely that no one will notice too much about how I look since they'll be focusing on getting to know the kids.

I got sad about this yesterday when I was forced to weigh myself on scales. I had been avoiding this on purpose. When I took MB to the doctor's office, he went crazy and refused to be weighed. MB remembers getting shots from the nurses. I was asked to hold him and step on the scales and then weigh myself so that I could subtract my weight from the total in order to get his weight. I was not happy to have to do this & the nurse even announced my weight out loud! Ugh!

Zoo Fun

Today was the zoo trip for MG's preschool class. The kids had a wonderful time! I love the zoo. MG was so cute because she insisted on holding the map and was trying to navigate us through the park. :) She's been watching a lot of "Dora the Explorer" lately.

New Post on My Other Blog

I got up early to have a breakfast of cough drops, Tylenol, crackers, cheese & coffee. Nice combination for my cold, huh? I tell you, we have had a Summer full of colds and the stomach virus! We had a cold two weeks ago & then a new cold during this past week. I do hope that we can go a few weeks without being sick! Especially during our trip! Well, since my cold woke me up so early, I had extra time to post on my Southern themed blog. So, if you have a few seconds, check out my new post entitled "Mayberry is Where I Want to Live".

Our Trip South

We'll soon be going South to visit our families in KY and TN. I'm really looking forward to spending time with family. This will be the first time that many of my relatives will meet my kids!! I'm also homesick to see the beautiful Smoky Mountains. The mountain range was visible from my childhood home's front doorstep, so I want to stand on my Mom's front porch to see that view again. My heart longs to see everyone! It's been 4 years since our last visit when I was 5 months pregnant with my daughter.

I am a bit concerned about the long road trip for our kids. I want this to be comfortable and fun for them. I'm beginning to think about staying in a hotel on the way there. We would have to pay the extra money, but maybe it would be worth it. I'm trying to figure out which of these two options would be better for us.

OPTION #1
Get the kids up at 5 AM and let them sleep a few more hours while we begin our road trip. Then we would travel all morning and into the early afternoon to get to KY in one day. By that time, it would be the kids' nap time and there's the potential for major grumpiness when we reach our destination. It might not be that bad, but it does seem to go against their normal routine.

OPTION#2
Leave one day ahead of time after lunch & after the kids have had a chance to play. They would get drowsy and take their naps during the majority of the trip to the midway point where we would stop at the hotel and stay overnight. Then we would get up in the morning and have breakfast and an early lunch before leaving for the remainder of the trip.

As you can probably guess, I'm leaning towards OPTION#2. It really seems more natural to the kids' normal schedule. Plus, MG will only take a nap in the car now. I think that they would both feel better and be less tired if we did this. We'd probably feel better too. My hubby and I have been debating about this because of the extra $ that it would cost. I have a few days to think it over. :)

Best Friends! (another favorite Summer pic)

Here's my favorite Metal Boy picture from the Summer! These two guys are best friends! :)

Favorite Summer Photo

I especially like this picture of mother daughter. :) You know what? Sometimes when MG is acting up or freaking out, all she really needs is a hug or to be held. The other night she wanted me to rock her to sleep like a baby and sing to her. It was nice. She is still a little girl who needs that sometimes, and I need to not forget that.

Head Spinning

I always get to this point where I have several problems that I'm working on, and I have all these great ideas for solving the problems, but there are so many things swirling around in my head that it gets overwhelming and confused! And then I get caught up in the confusion, and I don't solve anything. Does that make sense? Sigh! I'm one unorganized person on the inside and outside. I feel like a hamster running round and round in an exercise wheel. Maybe I need to focus on one thing at a time. I'm one to try to let EVERYTHING accumulate and overwhelm myself.

Want to see the list things spinning in my head? Maybe I'll list them and then make a little outline what I should do about it.

1. I feel depressed on and off.
a. Schedule a doctor's appointment
b. Exercise at least 15 minutes each morning, before kids wake up
c. Eat healthy foods

2. Daughter having sleep issues.
a. Get her to bed early. 8:30 PM would be ideal.
b. Make sure that she has a snack beforehand since sometimes she wakes up because she's hungry.

3. Daughter behavior issues.
Ugh...this is the one that's touchy for me right now. This is the difficult one that is probably caused by #1 and 2 above! You know what, this must be true. So I should definitely quit obsessing over the bad behaviors and focus on getting my depression straightened out and MG getting more sleep. Then I think that her behavior will improve. Wow... that's the answer...so simple. :)

I haven't scheduled the doctor's appointment, and that's what I have to do tomorrow. I've been putting it off.

Busy Bee

That's what I've been lately. I actually feel more energized from having changed my eating habits. The depression has been a problem, but it really helps when I'm doing something. On Sunday, I vacuumed the house and steam cleaned the carpet. Then I cut up a billion vegetables and prepared my soup for the week. I'm doing the Soup Diet and it really is healthy, and you don't starve yourself! It's so tasty and makes cooking meals so easy during the week! You have the basic vegetable soup that's very filling and then you add different ingredients to it so that you have a different kind of soup for dinner for seven days. The breakfasts and lunches are all filling too. I don't know if I'll lose weight from it because I'm not starving, but I do feel extra energy from eating healthier! This morning I got up early and went walking before Mark left for work and before the kids got up. Then later I cleaned up the house and folded laundry. When I laid down for a bit in the afternoon, I began to feel sad, so I got back up and started preparing dinner for the kids.

This evening I worked on my knitting while watching TV. I can actually do both at the same time now. :) It'll probably take forever to finish the little blanket, but that's not what's important. It's definitely something to keep my hands occupied, and it really relaxes me. I know that it's just a few days since I started making these changes, but I am feeling better. I don't know if it's my change in attitude or just good vibes rubbing off on MG, but she has had better behavior. She was so sweet today. We are still having sleep issues with her, though. Just a little while ago she woke up hungry. She was squirting jelly on bread, but the jelly was so thick that it wouldn't come out easily. She said, "It's constipated!" Well, she understands the meaning of that! She cracks me up.

Well, now I really can't keep my eyes open any longer even though I'm reading an interesting book that I will probably pick up before falling asleep. Having time to read is a challenge. I have recently subscribed to a web site that e-mails me book chapters each day. Somehow, I do find more time to read that way. The only problem is that I love to hold a real in the print book in my hands. Good night & here's the link to the soup diet in case you're interested!

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/health/amazing-soup-diet-1007