I'm getting tired of taking other people's crap. I've always done it because I really don't like arguing or yelling or anything like that. Well, yesterday the Burger King girl was rude to me basically because she couldn't hear me at the drive through window. (Not my fault) I yelled at her, something I never do. She was being bitchy, so I was that way in return. It's pretty sad that the only person that I can stand up to is the poor Burger King girl.
I've been upset with my brother and sister-in-law. Then I came home to be attacked about my lousy parenting because I don't have the kids in church. Now I'm having trouble at work. I know that I've discussed this before, too. More than a month ago, I put in to take off for Halloween. My supervisor acted strange and did not want me to take off for my vacation South and he did not want me to take off for Halloween either. Nevertheless, he found someone to sub for me for Halloween. Now he is basically telling me that I can't be off after all because of another issue with a co-worker's medical leave. I understand about that, but he's not asking me, he's telling me. I tried to explain to my daughter, but she doesn't understand. I never take off extra on holidays.
I know that Halloween isn't the most important holiday and that it's not the end of the world if I miss it, but I'm upset with my supervisor's attitude towards me. Everything changed once I had kids and I quit working extra hours for free and when my schedule became fixed. My job used to be my number one priority, but now it's not. My kids come first. I have to have my job in order to have enough money to raise our kids. Maybe my performance at my job has gone downhill. I could probably do better. I feel burnt out. I've been in the same job for almost 9 years. Could that be the problem?
I'm really depressed.
Update: I just set up that doctor's appointment that I've been putting off. It'll be on Monday morning when MM is watching the kids. I sure hope that this will help me. That's the earliest appointment that I could get. I know that I have to do something about this depression.
5 comments:
Don't let things get you down. I hold everything in until I explode, which is a really bad thing to do. It can be frustrating when everybody is trying to run your life. Like you said, you brother and SIL will understand once their kids get bigger and your in-laws well there might not be any changing them. You just need to look at the good points, which I know if hard sometimes.
Take a deep breath and try to take some extra time for yourself over the next week. Maybe a nice walk by yourself would be nice. It will give you some time to think without everybody trying to pull you in a different direction.
Oh Christy, don't think so much of the things that happened during the vacation..they're in the past now. You need to be happy and healthy for the kids. You have the right to be unhappy about the BK girl and that heartless boss (reminds me of mine..)though but don't let things destroy you. I agree with Linda, take a deep breath and start facing life with new feeling. Go shopping or window shopping or get some bites of chocolate..that's what I always do! Hugs to you!
Linda and Hliza, a walk and chocolate...those two things sound great! I think that MM is going to go to the grocery store tonight & I just added chocolate to the list.
I'm too negative when dealing with problems when depressed, so hopefully I'll get this straightened out so that I can deal with life a little better. I love my family and want to be the best that I can be for them.
I'm proud of you for making that apt. You know my thoughts on depression and help for it.
I'd really like to email you if that's ok, here is my address if you would like to send me yours:
bll127925@yahoo.com
Hi Barbara, thanks! It takes a lot for me to realize that I really do need help. Why is that? I e-mailed you and used my gmail account. Hopefully it went through ok. :)
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