Are you the type of person that doesn't notice clutter until one more thing added to the pile causes an avalanche? Or perhaps you trip over it and hurt yourself before you realize that your floor is covered in junk? Unfortunately, this is me. With the war on depression going on in my head, I just feel lucky to get through a day taking care of the kids. That's my priority, and they have been extremely energetic and busy. Sometimes I feel very emotionally drained after a typical crazy day.
What is a typical crazy day, you ask? Well, one where MG bites MB's finger on purpose when he offers her a breakfast cheerio. Then we go grocery shopping & she lies down in the floor pitching a tantrum, and MB climbs out of the cart and refuses to stay in it on the way to the car. Try pushing a cart and carrying a big wiggly 1 year old under your arm while pulling a 3 year old along. By the time I get home I need a nap, but I try to get the kids to nap. One usually sleeps while the other doesn't. I do try to rest for at least 30 minutes at this time. Don't worry, if I accidentally fall asleep, there's always someone smacking me in the head with a ball or other such toy to wake me up. Next, I have to get dinner ready. Sometimes I have time to feed the kids before my hubby gets home from work. Sometimes there's 5 minutes left where I'm frantically trying to wash the dishes or pick up the massive explosion of toys at the last minute. There's always lots left undone when he takes over taking care of the kids while I go to work. :(
I guess I'm making excuses for being an unorganized & messy procrastinator. Sadly, the "lots left undone" part wouldn't bother me that much because clutter doesn't really get to me. It bothers my hubby, though. He is the clean, organized person. I'm a cluttery, let the kids have a free-for-all kind of person. It's OK to be a little messy, I guess, but not to the point of it being dangerous. Seriously, I'm always tripping over toys and hurting myself before I know it's needing to be picked up. Then I don't notice the stack of books and papers on my bureau until it all comes tumbling down when a fat cat lands on top of it in the middle of the night.
OK, after all that's said, I feel like a lazy person. But you know what? I was just like this when I was a kid! I wouldn't clean my room until a friend was coming over, & I would frantically stuff all the junk under my bed! I never got rid of things even if they were broken, so I guess that I'm a pack rat. I'm depressed thinking about this. I should be out there cleaning now instead of doing this. Sometimes I'm afraid that anything that I do would not be enough. There are days when I get to some of those cleaning chores, but the undone things are still too many undone things. I'm very sad about this. Maybe if I didn't feel so tired all the time and had more energy, maybe I would be more motivated to clean. I don't know.
No comments:
Post a Comment