Twilight Zone

Do you ever have one of those days that you feel like you're losing your cool? I'm usually able to be patient and calm with my kids these days, but today it was so hard. I'm going to tell you what happened today in detail so that I can try to sort out why it was a hard day and why I feel so bad about it.

1. I woke up to a messy house and realized that I'd need to clean it up today. Then I had the idea to rearrange some of the furniture to help resolve the messy house syndrome. Well, I ended up going through all of MB's clothes and weeding out his size 3's since he can't fit into them anymore. Then I moved a big dresser into his bedroom and put all of his clothes into that.

2. Meanwhile, the kids are off in other parts of the house making messes that they normally don't make. They poured all of the clean laundry (some of it already folded) out of the laundry baskets onto the floor, blew there noses on tissues and threw the tissues on the floor, poured milk all over the table and onto the floor on purpose, threw lots of toys on the floor, dumped their dad's baseball card collection all over the floor, dumped other things on the floor...the floor had a rough day.

3. By the time I finished my rearranging of the furniture, there was all the above messes on the floor to clean up. And it was time to cook dinner. And it was time to wash dishes. I felt totally overwhelmed and stressed out and sad. I got so upset with the kids because after making the messes they took off outside and got in the car. And they weren't dressed! I had to chase them around the yard because they were in their undies and have terrible colds and it's cold outside!

The thing is, they seemed to not understand that these were not good things to do. I was so upset. Then it was time to go to work and in my anger I said that I was going to work and not coming back! Poor MG believed me and cried. Then MM came home and mentioned how messy the house was! What a day. I just can't figure it out. Was it just one of those bizarre days that comes only once in a great while that just can't be explained and I should just forget that it ever happened????? I hope so.

Living in a Place Where I Didn't Grow Up

Sometimes I feel lonely. I miss the people that I grew up with. I miss my mom and brothers and friends. I need to keep in touch with my family more, but it is difficult to make time. I wonder if I should make a blog for my family. I don't know...maybe it would be a neat thing to do & I could say hello to everybody everyday if I wanted to do it that way. :-)

That's Called Being a Mom

How can I become more energetic? I feel so tired and sometimes get mopey and lazy. I really don't like this about myself. Would exercise help? I've talked to my friends and even my doctor about feeling tired all the time and they all basically say "That's part of being a Mom". Really? Should I really be THIS tired ALL the time? And should I be up at this hour at 12:30 AM? There's part of my problem. I really should do the following and see if this will help. Go to bed by 10:30PM. Do some form of exercise each morning even if it's only 15 minutes. Those are the main things that I can think of. Seems simple enough. I've also just got over a really horrible cold that made me cough alot, so I didn't feel like exercising at all during that.

Positive Thinking=Motivation... ABSOLUTELY!

I really want to be worry free. Worrying always leads to depression in my case. Maybe worrying makes some people take action, but not with me. It makes me depressed and binds me. I just want to cut loose from worrying and let it go.... through prayer, exercise, whatever. When I'm not worried about our money situation, my hubby gets mad at me. He thinks that I'm ignoring the situation. I don't know what to do about this. I don't want to worry since worrying ALWAYS leads to me being depressed. I will not worry about this. I WILL NOT!!!!! Positive thinking is really what motivates me. I HAVE to be positive to be motivated to do something!

May Try to Get a Second Job

It's just a little beyond a thought right now. With our money issues, I am looking around for maybe a weekend evening job. There may be something temporary that would be a good fit, so that's what I've started looking for. I'm a little worried because there may be some sort of cuts at our jobs since they are tax funded, so I'm trying to think of options.

Have I talked about my kids' money saving? We reward them with spare change when they do something good or improve at something. They saved up for their swing set that we got in the Spring. Now we're saving up for our next vacation. They are set on going to the beach and it's so cute to see them so excited about it and already saving up for it.

My Warped View of Money

Today was a little depressing since my hubby, and I have been discussing money. It's my least favorite thing to talk about. There was never much of it when I was growing up, so I learned to not even think about money. Anyway, this really is an area of argument between us, because he talks about it and I get quiet. I just hate worrying about money, so I avoid thinking about it altogether. There's something worse than being poor. I know. It's hard for me to explain what I mean or how I feel about it. I hate money. It's just paper and metal that we have to use to buy things. Money sucks.

I know that my view is a little irrational since we need money to take care of our kids and to have enough food to eat and to pay our bills. I don't know how my mom took care of me and my brothers on so little and without my dad's income. We were lucky to have family around us who helped us. My grandparents didn't have much, but they always provided us with garden vegetables including canned veggies in the winter. The love and care of extended family is what helped me to survive. I'll never forget that.

The Love of a Child

"I love you." MB said those three words to me for the first time today. It melted my heart. :-) I was feeling tired, hungry and a little stressed today... so that made it all better. Isn't he sweet?

MG kept me on track with my diet today. She is such a smart little cookie. I was eating these buttery crackers and she said "Mommy, I think that's enough crackers. I'll get you a celery." She then went to the fridge, got a celery stalk and then washed it for me. MG to the rescue! She also said "Mommy, you have bloomed down a little." She's my little cheerleader.

The Secret M&M Diet

I have lost about 3 pounds so far, and this is my sixth day on the South Beach Diet. I haven't been completely strict with it. For example, I stashed a small pack of M&Ms in the cubbard. When I got a chocolate craving and couldn't take it anymore, I'd sneak a few M&Ms. I've never made a small pack of M&Ms last so long. :-) It really is a change in the way of eating for me. I've been eating much healthier and feel less hungry than other diets that I've tried. This one seems to be good because I'm changing my eating habits rather than starving myself. 3 pounds down.. it's a start!